Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

More than ever, kids are being raised in situations that don’t reflect the traditional mom, dad, and house in the suburbs with a two-car garage. One of these nontraditional situations is grandparents who, for whatever reason, have taken on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren. As you can imagine, such a situation brings up unique challenges, some that your previous parenting experience might not have prepared you for.

Take Care of Yourself, First

Becoming the primary caregiver for a child is a huge and overwhelming responsibility. If you’ve found yourself in this role again, it might be tempting to totally focus on the child’s emotional and physical needs. Don’t forget, however, that it’s impossible to be a truly attentive caregiver if you haven’t given appropriate attention to the emotional issues you might be facing after the death of your own child or whatever situation that has brought your grandchildren into your care. Whether it’s with a therapist, minister, or a friend, make sure that you get the emotional care you need as well.

Children’s Emotional Health

You are probably concerned about the happiness and mental health of your grandchildren, and wondering how you can ensure that they are adjusting to their new situation. The best thing you can do for them is to be nurturing, understanding, affectionate, patient, and willing to honestly discuss their situation with them. Remember that you aren’t alone, and that there are many resources out there to help you. Join a local support group for grandparents raising grandchildren. Ask at your grandchildren’s school about counseling and other mental and emotional support available to them.

Adjusting To Your New Role

Simply getting your usual daily activities done can become difficult with your new parenting responsibility. Here are some ways to adjust to your new role and to make things smoother for you and the children:

Set a Schedule: This can help make things logistically easier and provide a mental safety net for shaken children who could use stability. Set a time for meals and plan out after school activities, though don’t forget about unstructured play.
Be Consistent: You don’t have to be a strict disciplinarian, but you do want to ensure that the children understand the rules of your house, and that you enforce them consistently.
Be Caring: Make the effort to really settle the children into your home; decorate their rooms, and find places for their things together. This will give them a sense of home and help them understand that they are welcome and not a burden.
Find Activities to Do Together: Whether it’s a bedtime story or a walk in the park, start looking into simple activities you can do to spend time together. It’s difficult to adjust to having kids around again, but you want to make sure you fully integrate them into your life.
Love Yourself: Make sure that you are able to find time away from the kids, to decompress, reflect, and avoid burnout.
Stay Informed: Visit our “more resources” page for links to more information about raising grandchildren and about grandparents’ rights.

Source:

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. (2006) Administration for Children and Families.